Sunday, January 5, 2014

Elevated thoughts


Here's my contribution to:
Five Sentence Fiction

You can find other entries at


This week's topic is  Moments




The ceiling had a long crack which then branched to two paths across the beige plaster.

A second pillow beneath her graying hair allowed some elevation for Dorothy while still drawing her eyes upward to what would be her last view.

A catalogue of her life ran across her mind: scenes of childhood, of passion, of motherhood, of life.

She reviewed the sting of her father’s hand across her face, the young ecstasy of a summer evening’s ride in a fast convertible, the ache of lovers’ separation, the miracle of her newborn’s finger, the anguish at the loss of that child.

Her eyes followed the left branch above her head in the same way she determinedly turned her thoughts to the path holding only recollections of joy, and Dorothy smiled as her eyes closed for one last time. 


8 comments:

  1. Quite a sad poignant tale of a woman, dying in her bed at a hospice, who's spending fleeting moments of her life peacefully remembering the HIGH and low points of her life.

    WELL DONE !!!.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This sort of imagery is beyond me. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So realistic. I did not think that it was possible to write in such few sentences.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a good brain exercise anyway, a nice change from crosswords.

      Delete
  4. How touching. I could never do this. Have you written a book?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Ms. Penny! Yep, it's currently languishing with an agent who has yet to decide if she wants to deal with it.

      Delete
  5. A very emotive piece, capturing memories of a life well lived. x

    http://40somethingundomesticateddevil.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/moments-5-sentence-fiction.html

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by and I'd love to hear what you think.