Friday, June 28, 2019

Beware of Burning Bridges





When I was night-schooling my way toward finishing my Bachelors, I thought I would lose my mind with the state college’s continuing ed department. 
With two kids and a full-time job, I was not amused when informed I’d have to come to the school to fill out paperwork for something or other – a 45 minute ride one-way. I wasn’t necessarily on the verge of going postal, but if I’d had a giant super-soaker squirt gun, I can’t promise that I’d have held my baser instincts in check.

          Good thing I kept my opinions to myself, though, since I had to deal with the same inept group when returning shortly after for my Masters.



          My first year of teaching – like so many others, I’m sure – began on rocky footing. It didn’t feel like a good omen that the previous teacher had left needing a heart transplant. I inherited a class of manic 7th graders, including Gilberto, who literally ran circles around the classroom.

          After a particularly harrowing day I stood waiting to cross the road to the parking lot. I was joined by another teacher, a comrade in arms. Except when I turned and said, “Some days I wonder if I should even be teaching.”

Her reply? “Maybe you shouldn’t be teaching, then.”  Stunned, I went to my car for a quick weepy moment and avoided her like the plague for the rest of the year.

          Next year I was moved to a different team of teachers, including guess who, and worked with her for the next seven years.



          When I served on the Historical Commission for my little town, we had a delegation come before us. It was the Cemetery Committee, hoping to gain some funds (of which we had a minuscule amount to hand out). As it turned out, we couldn’t help them, but we were polite and, somewhat disgruntled, they went on their way.

          What I found intriguing was how unbelievably grumpy one of them was. You would think that it would have been in their best interests to send someone who didn’t appear to have just sucked a lemon.

          I now live across the street from him. He and his wife have a tiny Chihuahua which he’s absolutely foolish about, and which seems to have cracked his rough exterior. He even waves to me now.

15 comments:

  1. Some personalities are to be avoided. I think when we are feeling overcome with the daily grind we need to be around people who are sympathetic or who can give gentle advice.

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  2. Especially in small towns and cities, it seems like one keeps meeting the same people again and again. Keep those (more or less) good relationships going!

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  3. I am wondering how good of a teacher that first one was. But she probably thought she was great.

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  4. Sigh. Words are powerful beasts. I wonder whether that first teacher even considered the thought that you would still remember her words (and the tears)decades later.

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  5. Yikes! I'm glad I didn't have her as a teacher. But I'm glad your grumpy neighbor softened up a little. :-)

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  6. You recognize that sometimes the mouth moves before the brain moves. Yes you learned how to watch your bridges.

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  7. How fascinating the Grump devolved to a small, yappy dog. Small dogs do come nicer. I wonder about his motivation to remain ruffled and disgruntled.

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    1. sometimes a teacher needs to grow into the job, and learn along with his students. I never had this man as a teacher, but in a small high school everyone knows everyone else. Mr. W. was a new teacher, and the first few years as a history teacher were rough: he wasn't sure of his skills, and was known for throwing erasers at kids who asked the wrong questions at the wrong time.
      Years later, long after I had graduated, he became state Teacher of the Year. He had grown up, and grown into his profession. That pleased me no end.

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  8. I'm a bit like that teacher who said maybe you shouldn't be teaching. I have a neighbour who delights in telling everyone about her family who live SOOO far away and how much she misses them (SOOOO much!) since she left her home country. I told her she should save her money and go home to where the kids are.

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  9. I see so many people who are only too eager to judge someone else on facial expression, or the way they behave, or dress, and am delighted when the suspicious looking reprobate turns out to be the local judge, or the teacher of the year on a day off...sometimes the best observation is the one you don't make.

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  10. pretty insensitive of her, like she never had a day when she wondered what the hell she was doing.

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    1. Exactly.
      And you can teach next door to me anytime.

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  11. Yep. Bridges burn but there's always a way to get some builders on your side and build the bridges back up. :-)

    Greetings from London.

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  12. Grumpy doesn't get far with me...but sometimes I am incredibly grumpy myself:)

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