Things I NEVER want to do
Own a sauna – after suffering through summer after
summer of an un-airconditioned childhood in the south, it seems
counter-intuitive to willingly shut yourself into room of 160 degrees.
Eat bugs – Fine, tell me that ants are spicy and
praying mantises are a great form of protein, but I prefer my bugs either far
away or flat, Anthony Bourdain be damned. Again, blame it on a childhood in the
south, where it was a good idea to shake out your shoes before putting them on.
Line dance – Okay, I will admit to perhaps one
wedding where I succumbed, but there is not enough Proseco in the world to
induce me to again raise my elbows in the Chicken Dance or swivel my hips to the
Macarena.
Zip line – Across the Grand Canyon ,
through a Brazilian rain forest, wherever. Not happening. Chalk this up to a
healthy fear of heights with an overactive imagination (combined with a total
distrust of whoever installed that line).
Travel to exotic, out of the way places – No interest
here in visiting any country where public facilities require me to plant my
feet in the designated spots and hope for good aim. There’s a lot to be said
for the beaten track.
Stay overnight in one of those ice hotels – You know,
where everything is made of blocks of ice and you’re issued animal furs instead
of sheets. Midnight potty runs at such
a place must be unimaginable. I’d be happy to hit their bar for maybe a vodka
tonic, but that’s it.
Walk across country to support a cause – Couldn’t I
just shell out some greenbacks? Finding comfortable walking shoes for a day in Boston
(meet my friend, Mr. Bunion) can consume my thoughts for days. There are no
shoes on the planet that would get me from San Francisco
to D.C.
I may not have a secret desire to walk barefoot across a bed
of coals, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a few things I’d still like to
accomplish.
The thing about our society is that the expectations of us
diminish with each passing year.
While some may see this as limiting, I prefer to think that
attitude just makes it that much more fun to defy those preconceptions.
I'm with you for most of these but I did try a zip line once in Antigua. Just once and I'm done. As for travel, Paris, Rome, London, etc. are exotic enough. Never did understand the attraction of a sauna.
ReplyDeleteyou are wise...and funny.
ReplyDeleteDefy the expectations of us--that's a good one.
ReplyDeleteI hear you.
ReplyDeleteThis is good! I may just write a similar post...
ReplyDeleteWhat a novel approach. Most of us dream about want to's not never to's. Fun post.
ReplyDeleteI think poll after poll would support your suggestions!
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy reading your post. This is so funny, so true...for me too except I've always thought that I would like to line dance, if I could keep my feet going with all the other feet. Enjoyed your last post also about Satchel and the bugs. Poor Satchel. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not interested in doing those either, except for the zip line. I could definitely do that.
ReplyDelete