Friday, September 19, 2014

My Anti-Bucket List

Things I NEVER want to do

Own a sauna – after suffering through summer after summer of an un-airconditioned childhood in the south, it seems counter-intuitive to willingly shut yourself into room of 160 degrees.

Eat bugs – Fine, tell me that ants are spicy and praying mantises are a great form of protein, but I prefer my bugs either far away or flat, Anthony Bourdain be damned. Again, blame it on a childhood in the south, where it was a good idea to shake out your shoes before putting them on.

Line dance – Okay, I will admit to perhaps one wedding where I succumbed, but there is not enough Proseco in the world to induce me to again raise my elbows in the Chicken Dance or swivel my hips to the Macarena.

Zip line – Across the Grand Canyon, through a Brazilian rain forest, wherever. Not happening. Chalk this up to a healthy fear of heights with an overactive imagination (combined with a total distrust of whoever installed that line).

Travel to exotic, out of the way places – No interest here in visiting any country where public facilities require me to plant my feet in the designated spots and hope for good aim. There’s a lot to be said for the beaten track.

Stay overnight in one of those ice hotels – You know, where everything is made of blocks of ice and you’re issued animal furs instead of sheets. Midnight potty runs at such a place must be unimaginable. I’d be happy to hit their bar for maybe a vodka tonic, but that’s it.

Walk across country to support a cause – Couldn’t I just shell out some greenbacks? Finding comfortable walking shoes for a day in Boston (meet my friend, Mr. Bunion) can consume my thoughts for days. There are no shoes on the planet that would get me from San Francisco to D.C.

I may not have a secret desire to walk barefoot across a bed of coals, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a few things I’d still like to accomplish.

The thing about our society is that the expectations of us diminish with each passing year.
While some may see this as limiting, I prefer to think that attitude just makes it that much more fun to defy those preconceptions. 


  1. I'm with you for most of these but I did try a zip line once in Antigua. Just once and I'm done. As for travel, Paris, Rome, London, etc. are exotic enough. Never did understand the attraction of a sauna.

  2. Defy the expectations of us--that's a good one.

  3. This is good! I may just write a similar post...

  4. What a novel approach. Most of us dream about want to's not never to's. Fun post.

  5. I think poll after poll would support your suggestions!

  6. I always enjoy reading your post. This is so funny, so true...for me too except I've always thought that I would like to line dance, if I could keep my feet going with all the other feet. Enjoyed your last post also about Satchel and the bugs. Poor Satchel. :)

  7. I'm not interested in doing those either, except for the zip line. I could definitely do that.


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