Friday, March 14, 2014

Wet Women

I’ve found a rare and wonderful place, a place other than my closet where I don’t mind wearing a swim suit.
At my twice-weekly water aerobics class, many of my fellow exercisers are as challenged as I am by bulges and various flapping body parts.

But I don’t go just to parade my middle-aged (assuming I live to 120) body around. Water aerobics can be quite the workout if you actually do what the instructor says, what with all the submerged running and arm swishing.

And on the plus side, you don’t even have to be the least bit athletic since no
one can really tell what you’re doing under all that water, a blessing for the uncoordinated and slothful.

However, you do need patience.
Most classes include:

  1. The lady who ineffectually waves her water weights around (even when we’re not using them), with absolutely no idea what we’re really doing.

  1. The clutches of women who are immobile, chatting loudly through everything, getting in everyone’s way.

  1. The well-meaning and exuberant lady who bellows out an echo of all instructions and flails about enthusiastically, splashing everyone nearby.  

  1. The ladies who have no sense of space (or peripheral vision?) and meander into their neighbors’ zone, thereby endangering themselves and others during the kicking portions.

  1. The floaters. They show up faithfully, and as islands of human flotsam, drift about aimlessly in the deep end completely ignoring the class, and only begrudgingly surrender a small portion of their territory when the exercising brings us down to the other end of the pool.

Spring is approaching and soon the dreaded Short Sleeve Season will be here. If I keep the faith and attend aerobics regularly maybe this year I’ll be ready.

 I'll disregard the fact that the same crew of less-than-nubile women have been the mainstays of this class of years, without any discernible improvement. 

And perhaps after just a few more classes I’ll feel like prancing about on the pool deck like a former cast member of Bay Watch. But then again, most of them are probably my age by now.


  1. My motto always has been, if you got it, flaunt it, no matter what it is. People are supposed to look us in the eye, not in the breasts or flabby arm.

  2. And the older I get, the less I care. Very freeing.

  3. I read this entire post thinking you were someone else! Duh. Hi Marty. At the Y, we have water walkers who just stand there and do nothing. They are different from those who do water aerobics, though. I've never been to that class before, but I've heard that it is good.

    1. Yes, we have our share of standers, too. And the women who won't go deeper than the four foot marker. I'd understand if it were summer, but why would you climb out of bed in twenty degree weather to go stand in a not-quite-warm pool?

  4. Such fun; never mind about all the silly women doing silly things, you go ahead and enjoy yourself. It only works if you do, you know.

  5. Great exercise and not hard on your joints! But God I hate donning a swimsuit!! :)

  6. I joined a similar class several years ago when I was back in Connecticut helping out my parents. I really enjoyed it and met some wonderful people -- men and women.

  7. LOL. I think we are in the same class. I always wonder why they would pay good money to stand in the water and talk. Sit in your bathtub, I say!


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