Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Company's Coming - Dim the Lights!


      There you are standing in the middle of the tracks. A single headlight is bearing relentlessly down on you. It’s the Holiday Train, filled with eager visitors who will soon be pouring into your home, burrowing into your nut bowl and couch, and bellying up to your Pinterest-decorated table.
          This is the season for hiding, stuffing (not just the edible kind), and sleight of hand.
          A few suggestions -
          The eclectic pile festering for weeks on the kitchen counter - three rubber feet for that metal chair, the dog’s medicine, the battery you need to replace, and the CVS coupon – into the junk drawer.
          The pile of shoes by the back door – your sneakers, his sneakers, old slippers for getting the paper, and those of your centipede children – distribute to owners or consign to the garage.
          The eight-inch stack of magazines that – you’re going to get to, save for so-and-so, or have that recipe you’re sure you’ll try – recycle. Look at you, saving the environment.
          The kitchen towel with the stain, the scorched oven mitts, that serving dish you love with the chip – back of the cupboard. There’s a reason why things are described as being “for everyday.”
          Windows – It’s dark by 4 p.m. now, not an issue.
          Carpet – Fill the room with people. More feet = more carpet covered.

          And if you stop by my house, just remember, thoughtful guests do NOT lift the sofa cushions.


  1. You will have a very happy Thanksgiving.

  2. Hahaha! I laughed out loud at this post. You're brilliant, Marty. :-)

  3. Forget all that. They're coming to see you, not your house. Or perhaps buy/build a smallish garden shed right by the back door and stuff everything into it for a day or two until everyone has gone again.

  4. Shoes by the door. We have a very small entrance.

  5. oh, my lord, you've seen my house. And my style of entertaining.
    Which is why, these days, we go to other people's houses to eat and
    be entertained.

    There's a lot to be said for being old(er).

    I agree in theory with the "they're coming to see you..." up to a point. The point is, they may be coming to see YOU but they will be using the bathroom, you KNOW someone will peek behind the shower curtain, and it would be nice if you had clean forks, kind of thing.


Thanks for stopping by and I'd love to hear what you think.