My family had the philosophy that if
you owned it, you used it.
Both my parents and grandparents used their silverware every day, rather than squirreling it away and only unearthing it for major dining events. This was practical, too, since if you used it, you didn’t have to polish it, a bonus in a family that, while clean, could never have been accused of being obsessively so.
Both my parents and grandparents used their silverware every day, rather than squirreling it away and only unearthing it for major dining events. This was practical, too, since if you used it, you didn’t have to polish it, a bonus in a family that, while clean, could never have been accused of being obsessively so.
I
remember my childhood friend down the street, Anne Vartanian, who lived in a house with creakily
cold plastic covers on the couch. And I’m pretty sure her mother never removed
the plastic covers sold with the lampshades. I can still see her father tucked
away in his safe zone. He had carved out a corner of the house where untidiness
wouldn’t be a capital crime – a small enclosed porch off the living room where he
could sit in his sleeveless tee and read his paper in peace.
And
yet, I’m in danger of developing this preservation obsession.
I caught myself at
the Y the other day, hanging up my jacket in the locker. I had carefully draped
the edge of its neck over the hook, ignoring the loop sewn into the jacket for
my convenience. It hit me. For years, I’ve avoided these loops, with the skewed
logic of, “What if it wears out?”
Well,
hello. If it wears out, I’ll be right where I am now, carefully draping the
edge of the garment’s neck onto a hook.
One
of the happy freedoms of growing older is the realization that we can stop
saving things for that mythical event in the future. And there’s a good chance that
our kids couldn’t care less about Uncle Whoozit’s beer stein or Grandmother
Whatzit’s tablecloth. So haul them out and use them now. Those boxes aren’t bringing anyone joy in the
basement.
This
morning I made tea in my grandmother’s teapot – just for me.
And
tonight I think we’ll have our leftovers on the “good” china with the family
silverware.
When my father died, we unearthed rather a lot of things saved for 'good'. Including shirts, still in their original packing, where the pins had rusted. Saved - and ruined.
ReplyDeleteI try and use everything.
And remember that I am worth the 'good'. All on my own, I am worth it.
When I was growing up, we had a neighbor who had a fancy "parlor" where she kept all of the furniture under plastic covers. We neighbor children weren't even allowed in the parlor: we tiptoed past. I still remember the day of her funeral. Her grown daughters pulled off all the plastic covers, and we sat on the furniture. And it felt so odd ....
ReplyDeleteWell, at least they learned what she'd been saving it for.
DeleteI've never seen the sense in keeping things for special use, but even so, I still have things that rarely get used, like my crystal dishes that are too shallow to be called bowls, too curved to be plates. And I have pretty t-shirts that I don't wear around the house because I know I will splash or spill on them.
ReplyDeleteI also don't use a particular set of four glasses in case one gets broken, because then the set is broken and they can't be replaced. Everything else is used and enjoyed.
I've sent more than one almost-new garment to the Goodwill that had been saved for a grander occasion than day to day living because it had finally been - shall we say, "outgrown".
DeleteMe too, that's why I now wear what I have instead of saving it for special.
DeleteGood idea, I think I'll unwrap the silver and start using it.
ReplyDeleteMy mother was obsessive about her good silver and never used it except once or twice a year. And then she had a break-in and it was stolen. So I learned the hard way from her: use it! :-)
ReplyDeleteYou can put your money on this--the kids won't want it, possible excepting to repurpose it.
ReplyDeleteYou have brought up a reminder that I never use my china, my mother-in-law china. etc. I am always afraid it will chip or break and not look nice when I do need to use it, but those times I am too busy or too lazy to haul it down off the high shelf.
ReplyDeleteAn important lesson here: all things are impermanent, they all eventually wear out, so we make ourselves needlessly nuts if we try to preserve stuff forever.
ReplyDeleteVery nice blog here. I admire your talent with words.