After forty-five years together,
I’m not too sure how much impact I’ve had on my husband.
I know that after growing up in a family where
dining out was considered just plain silly when there was perfectly good food
at home, he’s since learned that a restaurant meal is actually entertainment.
I think his
spelling has improved, mostly due to all the words I’ve called across the house
when he’s in the middle of composing a letter or memo.
But how would he
have been living if he’d never married?
It’s a given that
his bachelor pad would never, ever, ever see a neatly made bed. Or if it was
there, it would still be unseen due to everything that would be heaped on top of
it. Then again, the sink would be spotless since he would be eating out for all
meals.
There would be
stacks of books and magazines and newspapers on every surface, with no one
cruising around behind him, weeding and sorting. Art projects in various stages of completion
would take up whatever space remained.
I suspect that my
own bachelorette digs wouldn’t have been much neater than his place.
I know that after
the kids were grown and he was traveling for business, my own habits changed
when I was living alone for a week or so. It’s probably like all that milk I
drank for dinner to set a good example for the kids. Once my audience was gone,
I reverted to a more comfortable mode of living. It’s a scientific fact that a
jacket that never makes it to the closet or those dishes left in the sink are
actually magnets, and if left there, more will appear. On my own, it now was
safe to leave shoes in the kitchen, and the mail strewn across the table.
However, I'm certain our lives would have been a lot poorer for conversation, experiences,
memories, and love.
I think you know whereof you speak.
ReplyDeleteHmmm.
DeleteVery cryptic, Joanne.
Interesting.
ReplyDeleteI know the few weeks Hubby was gone I made a big pot of refrigerator stew, cleaned the entire house and then had a structured schedule. The day was mine, all mine, after six PM. Came in from work, ran through all my chores and then the night was mine! It was wondrous.
Often (quite often, in fact), when I was on my own for dinner I would just have something like a whole bowl of lima beans. Nothing else.
DeleteOh, maybe a glass of wine to start.
Hmmm. I am not sure what impact, if any, I have had.
ReplyDeleteI see much more television than I would otherwise. He learned to love cats.
And in a little over a week, I have some home alone time. Time to revel in. And when he returns I will revell in that too.
I am one of those who doesn't have to think of someone else besides the dog. Come to think of it, dogs and men are a bit alike--both are dependent, need fed and picked up after but I think the dog wins the loyalty part.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure most couples reflect from time to time what would life have been like if they had not married or married somebody else. In a good relationship i think we help each other to improve. Interesting post.
ReplyDeleteIs this a trick question? answering could be tricky.
ReplyDeleteWell, as you can see, I didn't really have an answer to it.
DeleteThat IS an interesting idea. I'm sure without me, Dave would have reverted to hiring a cleaner, which is what he did before he met me. He is not likely to pick up anything on his own!
ReplyDeleteDitto here, Steve. Although as I said, I'm not sure how superior I would be on my own.
DeleteI've heard about three women who are recent widows. One bellowed out in a restaurant, "I want it medium rare! He always make me eat my steak well done. Well, I want it medium rare!" The other two were even more harsh. Bitter.
ReplyDeleteAin't no one going to make me eat a steak well done.
DeleteHm, I wonder. Not so much about him, more about me without a man. I like the theoretical idea, (so much less work and always please myself) but in a good partnership there is companionship too. That’s gets to be so much more important when you get old than mere tidyness.
ReplyDelete