Lillie McFerrin Writes challenge,
Five Sentence Fiction.
You can find more examples at
http://lilliemcferrin.com/
This week's word is
Offering
Benny watched in
anticipation from his seat the first day, but his small bouquet of backyard
violets lay ignored on the seat of bus 23 after she sat down.
The second day he
watched her pull the cord for her stop and exit down the aisle, unaware of the smiley
sticker he had affixed earlier to the window next to her usual seat.
The third
day he decided stronger measures were needed and taped his drawing of her where
she couldn’t miss it, on the back of the seat she always faced, with the
message “From a friend.”
She touched the
likeness, but her smile turned to a look of confusion when she read his message; she turned her gaze away to the scene
out of the window.
He had no way of
knowing that her dyslexia had mangled his tender gesture into the words, “Form a fiend.”
Ah, the best laid schemes...
ReplyDeleteGreat story!
Hmmm....a communication problem for sure.
ReplyDeleteSorta sad little story. Hope he perservers.
ReplyDeleteNow that I think of it, I could have made Benny a mute to really make it seem futile. But never fear, he finally thinks to offer chocolate and wins her heart in a trice.
Deletefeel sad for him
ReplyDeleteAw, this was really well done but such a sad outcome for all his efforts! :-)
ReplyDeleteBenny is a sweetie.
ReplyDeleteA great story in 5 sentences. Beginning, middle and end and also suspense! Good job.
ReplyDeleteoh, good job!
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet guy. Good story, so short.
ReplyDeleteOh my! This was terrific. Loved the twist in the end. :)
ReplyDeleteSo very sweet and a little sad too.
ReplyDeleteA lovely and unique take on the prompt, sweet, but sad...
ReplyDeleteA unique and lovely story, sad but sweet...
ReplyDeleteAwww, so sad!
ReplyDeleteNow that's a really sad one :(. Hope he perseveres and she realizes that he is a friend rather than a fiend.
ReplyDeleteoh poor thing, completely missed those sweet advances - hope they get together anyway - great story!
ReplyDelete