Sunday, February 9, 2014

Monthly Issues




At least once a year one of the tween girls up the street hikes down to our end on a mission from God.
They’re selling magazines for their parochial school and it’s impossible to say no to their wholesome, make-up free faces. There’s also the fact that we are retirees so rich that we can swing without effort another $12.50 for a full year of publications. It’s also probably wise to stay on the good side of the neighbors.
Added to the legitimate subscriptions are the other glossy monthlies that each publishing house throws in for free. Thus, the number of magazines arriving at our door is reaching epic proportions. We – I hope – would never intentionally subscribe to Entertainment Weekly, particularly now that we’ve learned how addictive it can be. On the plus side, my husband can now reel off the names of all the twenty-something movies that are hitting the theaters, and which are the preferred rehab centers for the glitterati.
          A difficulty with all this is the guilt. We are readers here, and to not open a shiny new magazine, whether we ordered it or not, is unthinkable. Our generation still has a few remaining emotional ties to the Great Depression through our parents, so it feels wickedly wasteful not to at least thumb through all this unwanted information.
          I’m trying to cut back on our subscriptions, but find it almost impossible. I’ll steadfastly ignore all the dunning letters, pleas for attention, and offers of free cookbooks or gift subscriptions and then there will be that last envelope with the see-through window that offers me an entire year for $7.98 and I’m right back where I started.
          The biggest motivator to lighten our mail carrier’s load is the articles themselves. As a happy retired lady whose children are in their 40’s, I no longer worry about how much help to offer with homework, or strategies to limit my kid’s online time. As a lady of a certain age, I also am no longer interested in: drying my hair 50% faster, modern nighties, or three steps to a brighter smile. At this point, I am what I am.
          What’s ironic is that while my age group is probably the last bastion of subscribers
to physical, not cyber, magazines, the articles are all skewed to readers who are at least 20 to 30 years younger.

9 comments:

  1. You haven't mentioned the glossy catalogs! One LL Bean or Land's End purchase and we're swamped. I tell myself I'm keeping one recycle plant worker on the payroll.

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    1. AND we just received a new Yellow Pages in the mail yesterday.

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  2. Yes, we are of an age that only had magazines and books. Today there is much to chose from. I'm amazed that there are still lots of publications available.When I look at a magazine stand there don't seem to be long term stand publications but many magazines that seem to be very short term.

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  3. Smile...We don't have children who sell us anything around here; so, in a sense, we have lost that connectivity with the younger age that magazines give you. Enjoy them. Like living in a foreign land, one must keep up with the natives.

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  4. Lovely: “I am what I am”.
    I can’t say I feel the need for magazines, bought or free. As you say, they no longer mean me when they write their articles and I simply get bored with them.

    Mind you, I do subscribe to one monthly, mainly because I get it at reduced cost. It’s also aimed at ‘old people’. I never leave it lying around though, too embarrassing.

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    1. My secret favorite is the AARP (American Assoc. of Retired Persons, aka Old Fogey Magazine)
      publication, which I only read at home with the shades drawn.

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  5. I must admit I loved the catalogues, especially. My mag subscriptions are ezines now since I live out of the country.

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  6. I'll put in a word for your mail carrier--we love you. We're carrying revenue in that satchel. So it's mostly a burden for you. And that it is. I now get one monthly magazine and I barely get through it before the next one comes up. When I used to subscribe to New Yorker (weekly), I came to see it as a big pile of guilt.

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    1. Yes, I get the New Yorker too. But I always manage to get through all the fabulous cartoons even if I never read a thing.
      Plus, it makes me feel so sophisticated.

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