Me versus them

 I thought when every appliance in my kitchen but one went down the drain last year that with all these new shiny stainless steel friends life would be simpler.

          And when the final replacement, a cooktop, went in this summer, the set was complete. So when I sifted through its paperwork, I wantonly tossed the mail-in warranty postcard over my shoulder. It’s a cooktop, one of the simplest objects in my kitchen, just a piece of flat glass with four burners. What could possibly go wrong?

 

 

        Except it’s developed a whimsical personality – leaving the “hot surface” light for one burner on long after it’s been used. But not always. And the burner’s not hot. And then I’ll come back the next morning and it’s out.

 

          Our internet has also been looking for some attention lately. Or perhaps it’s just the router looking for kicks. Seeking the thrill of being re-booted, that sexy pulling of the plug, then plugging it back in.

    

      But today I won one for my side. I took my car with all its new whiz-bang alerts to the car wash. 

And as the two of us traveled through, being sudsed and rinsed and soaped and whipped with wet rags, it beeped and buzzed and begged for mercy.