My New Best Friends

 

I’m being stalked.

As if my impending colonoscopy weren’t enough, as if the emailed August 14 four-page document of instructions, warnings and pre-event diet weren’t enough, as if the August 16 three page document of instructions, warnings, and diet that arrived in the snail mail weren’t enough, as if the link of pre-op instructions texted to me on August 25 weren’t enough, as if the 45-minute-long history (no lie) I filled in on-line weren’t enough, I received yet another text today from the medical center with questions asking if I’d received their survey and instructions.

          It’s not as though I’m likely to forget, having bought ginger ale, soup, and jello, then cancelled one day of events next week so I can hunker down at home working my way through a gallon of delight. Or having turned down another event the following day that I would much rather have attended instead of meeting with my pushy new friends.

  

        And if all that fails to remind me, there’s always the physical reminder staring me in the face. 

       The surgical center and I are going to get up-close and personal soon enough without all this foreplay.