An Electric Solution

     Once winter’s arrived, along with the mandatory extra 5-10 holiday pounds, I try to get to the treadmill at the gym.
The drill is, I hurl myself out of bed before I have time to think about it, stuff myself into something that gives the appearance that I’m an old hand at this exercise thing, and toddle off to the YMCA. 

          The ideal treadmill is the one on the end, which automatically means one less over-achiever next to me. This didn’t always work in the past, when a particular man who must have smoked a full pack on his way to the gym would choose a nearby stationary bike. The more he peddled, the greater the second-hand cigarette fumes would waft my way. I haven’t seen him lately, though. Probably better not to imagine why. 

          Another reason I prefer the end treadmill is that it’s closest to the television that’s not turned to FOX news (tv#2), sports (tv#3), or more sports (tv#4). The Today Show, in spite of its overload of ads and the absurd amount of time devoted to frigid fans waving from the sidewalk, still has a few segments that keep me going on my walk to nowhere. 

          So I need to plug into the jack on the treadmill. I’ve tried headphones and earbuds, but inevitably I come back to the same problem. I’ll be striding along, watching Al Roker waving at a map, and a jolt of electricity will flash in my ear. It’s as though the universe is using aversion therapy to stop me from exercising. After buying yet another set of earbuds with the same result, I’ve finally found a solution.