Wednesday, August 5, 2026

Distant but Still Present

 

Before my decades-long marriage came the early years of impermanence.

Divorce, and so reshuffling from two parents to one in another state, and back to the first in the part of the country where I began. Changing up houses and schools, leaving behind friends and pets, all so far away they might as well have dropped off the planet, whole chunks of my life gone forever.


A complement on my earrings yesterday set me thinking about all this.


A life of retirement doesn’t necessitate much in the way of jewelry. Even if I felt like putting on a necklace for a festive trip to the grocery store, it usually annoys me by the end of the day and is soon gone.


I do usually put on earrings. (And by the way did you, like me, even let that slide during the Covid days of shlepping around the house and then start to worry that your pierced ears might grow back together?)


So, my friend Ann commented yesterday on my earrings. I don’t wear them much anymore – to where?? – but they’re favorites even if they are dangly and a little fancy for taking out the trash. That day I’d put them on for me, thinking what’s the point of owning them if I never wear them.


And then while watching TV last night I got to thinking about the day I’d had my ears pierced. I was in college, a couple of decades before anyone had even thought about the coming of Y2K.

A girl someone knew came over through the adjoining door from her dorm to our building. I’m not sure I even knew her name. I sat on the bed in my next-door neighbor Ellen’s room with an ice cube held to each ear. A needle through my ear, small gold studs inserted, and that was that.

And here I am, 50+ years later, with the same piercings.

Few people have left such a lasting imprint on my life, and she was a stranger.

9 comments:

  1. Thought provoking - such a small blip in time, but a lasting effect. I do like those earrings'
    I remember wanting pierced ears so badly, but Mom made me wait until middle school. By then, there was the piercing gun at the jewelry counter. No ice cubes, no potatoes.

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    1. I’m older than you, so in my day they were still a little daring.

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  2. I watched an old movie on Sunday (from 1981) and have been thinking of doing a blog about the feelings it gave me. Our culture has changed so much since then, I thought about it all day. PS. I got one of my ears pierced in 1985, but it closed up eons ago!

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    1. One benefit of writing a blog is it gives you a place to work through thoughts. Putting thoughts into words can help to put them in order and even by doing that, come across new insights.

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  3. For decades I had two piercings in my ears, but lost one of the "sleepers" down the shower drain and took out the other and let those piercings close, now only one set remains, but I rarely wear earrings, only at Christmas when I wear a different themed pair daily from December 1st to Christmas day.

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  4. The needle-and-ice-cube method was how my mother got her ears pierced too in the 1940s. I've also heard of home ear piercings being done with a needle and a potato behind the ear. I got my ears pierced at 13, but by a doctor. This was before the style was popular and a million jewelry stores started offering the service.

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    1. Not sure what she used in back of my ear - potatoes weren't exactly common in a college dorm.

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  5. As a fairly new nurse, my ears were pierced (to my mother's horror!) in 1973 by a pediatric cardiovascular surgeon I worked with and since I retired 10 years ago, I still wear my earrings every day - for me. I'll admit some of the earrings are getting a bit difficult to put in since their posts are short and the earrings are small.
    Wishing you well!

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