What perfect timing, as we spiral into the witching season. Today I may have experienced what those women long ago felt when they were just tired of unsolicited guidance or being told what to do. At this late point in life, I mostly do what I damn well want to do, and the way I want to do it.
This morning, in spite of it being 48
degrees out, a friend and I went to the new pickleball courts in town. Amazingly,
we were the only ones there, but that was okay; we had fun just batting the
ball back and forth. Then a guy by himself showed up, and he was pleasant and
the three of us continued.
A fourth man arrived and joined us, so
we began playing for real. He called out to my friend Linda, reminding her where
to stand during the serve, a fact she knows perfectly well, which I told him.
Next, partway into the game when I was his partner, he said, “Can
I show you something?” Without waiting for a reply, he pointed out what he felt
was better positioning for me. I said ‘okay’ and continued. After our opponents
hit the ball out of bounds, he again pointed out where I should have been
standing and I replied that I could see the ball was going to be out, so I didn’t
bother to shift where I was.
After the game, which we won while I was
serving, we gathered up our rackets.
I turned to
him and said, “You know what? Next time you decide to give instruction, do it after
the game.” And left.
1.
Was this about his need to show his superior
skill at the game? (he was good, but not that good)
2.
Would he have said anything if I’d been a man?
3.
Doesn’t he realize that insulting your partner
with unwanted lessons will really only sabotage your own team’s chances?
Mansplaining does my head in - and no favours to my temper. And no, I suspect he wouldn't have felt the need to share his wisdom if your gender was his.
ReplyDeleteYes, No, No. But you put in a lot of exercise on your own terms.
ReplyDeleteSome men just can't help themselves, in their minds they are better, best, superior and their knowledge must be shared to instruct those they see as weaker, not so good, in need of teaching. Makes me wonder if they are born that way or raised that way?
ReplyDeleteI love that term "mansplaining" which covers exactly what he did. And it was a pickup game!
ReplyDeleteyou showed restraint. I would have told him thanks but I'm fine where I am when he first opened his mouth. and no he would not have offered unsolicited advice if you were a man.
ReplyDeleteThank you, ladies! We were so often raised to be "nice" that in instances like this we question ourselves whether we're being over-sensitive.
ReplyDeleteThat would've driven me nuts. You showed great restraint. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have. You likely know the answers to your highly relevant questions.
ReplyDelete