Things I NEVER want to do
Own a sauna – after suffering through summer after summer of an un-airconditioned childhood in the south, it seems counter-intuitive to willingly shut yourself into room of 160 degrees.
Eat bugs – Fine, tell me that ants are spicy and praying mantises are a great form of protein, but I prefer my bugs either far away or flat, Anthony Bourdain be damned. Again, blame it on a childhood in the south, where it was a good idea to shake out your shoes before putting them on.
Line dance – Okay, I will admit to perhaps one wedding where I succumbed, but there is not enough Proseco in the world to induce me to again raise my elbows in the Chicken Dance or swivel my hips to the Macarena.
Zip line – Across the
through a Brazilian rain forest, wherever. Not happening. Chalk this up to a
healthy fear of heights with an overactive imagination (combined with a total
distrust of whoever installed that line).
Travel to exotic, out of the way places – No interest here in visiting any country where public facilities require me to plant my feet in the designated spots and hope for good aim. There’s a lot to be said for the beaten track.
Stay overnight in one of those ice hotels – You know, where everything is made of blocks of ice and you’re issued animal furs instead of sheets. potty runs at such a place must be unimaginable. I’d be happy to hit their bar for maybe a vodka tonic, but that’s it.
Walk across country to support a cause – Couldn’t I just shell out some greenbacks? Finding comfortable walking shoes for a day in
(meet my friend, Mr. Bunion) can consume my thoughts for days. There are no
shoes on the planet that would get me from San Francisco
I may not have a secret desire to walk barefoot across a bed of coals, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a few things I’d still like to accomplish.
The thing about our society is that the expectations of us diminish with each passing year.
While some may see this as limiting, I prefer to think that attitude just makes it that much more fun to defy those preconceptions.